Silence dominated the late morning and afternoon.
Nearly fifty women purposely muted their mouths as they explored nature on 37 acres, in order to engage in the language of their heart with God.
Quietly, I paused in front of the long, fallen tree, resting against another tree.
“Krista, put your hand on the tree,” I heard the Lord speak to me.
As soon as my hand rested upon the bark of the dead tree leaning against the living tree, I heard these words: “Beauty from brokenness.”
My heart leaped up into my throat. I pulled my hand close to my body and stared at the tree where I touched it.
Lord, my life contains so many areas that suffered brokenness. Beauty exits within me?
Nearly five minutes before I walked through the wooded area along the river, I had walked a labyrinth. The first half of the labyrinth, I begged the Lord to help me shed all distractions because I wanted to hear Him speak to my heart.
During the center portion of the labyrinth, He was quite. Zephaniah 3:17 flooded my mind; He was enjoying me through silence.
While exiting the maze, I begged Him to give me truth, words, images, or circumstances that would help me heal and remember the intimacy.
Beauty from brokenness.
How many years have I walked around knowing and feeling how broken I am as a result of the childhood sexual abuse I suffered?
How many areas have been impacted or limited because of the brokenness?
Here, with my hand resting upon the decaying bark, I hear the Lord startle me with “beauty from brokenness.”
Overwhelmed with the reality of God speaking to my past abuse and the healing journey I’ve been walking, I snapped a quick picture so I wouldn’t forget.
Once the silence broke, I shared how God spoke to me.
To my heart.
To the deep ache that has existed within my heart for years.
I pulled out my phone to show the image to my older sister in Christ. I wanted to tell her what I saw, that beauty can manifest itself in brokenness.
Her words beat mine.
They startled me.
“Mushrooms! God brings life out of death!” she declared, tossing her head back and laughing.
Joy radiated throughout her laughter.
Life out of death!
Gratitude and joy and love overflowed my lower eye lashes, streaming my cheeks and dripping from my jaw line. I shared the words He had given me.
“Thank you for sharing. Yes, the life IS the beauty, isn’t it?”
God never intended us to suffer so deeply.
Yet, God, in His sovereignty over all people, created a way to make life where death once existed. And this is the ultimate example of beauty from brokenness.
As a survivor, you may identify with the nature of the fallen tree: numb, lifeless, useless, and in-the-way.
The perspective that we have as survivors–especially the perspective that we carry of ourselves–doesn’t always mirror the view that the rest of the world sees.
Nor that of how God sees us.
Over the next few weeks, I plan to share the beginning steps an adult woman might take to heal from childhood sexual abuse.
I am no counselor.
In spite of that, I desire to point you and the ones you love in the right healing direction, with Jesus and His Spirit as the Ultimate Counselor.
After all, God’s business includes growing mushrooms on decaying wood; creating life from death.
What’s your next step?
Are you willing to address your past in such a way to heal and fully engage in your relationships? Subscribe. Share the word with your girlfriends who may want to join you in the healing journey to support you or for their own journey. Pray. Ask Him to show you the beauty He’s already begun revealing within your brokenness.
Join me on the healing journey.
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